where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I want her autograph on my taint
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize