I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's just like the Real World with babies
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
