I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
