Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
