Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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