All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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