Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
