Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
