So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish you could order shots online.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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