The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
