plz talk dirty to me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
A+ Viking dick
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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