Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
