just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
