so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
