you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Panties = found
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
