you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
