if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
