Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
