left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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