so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
