Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
