he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
