I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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