My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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