I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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