I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
