I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
as a side note pls kill me
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
