You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
