I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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