Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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