She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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