why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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