By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
