I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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