i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
