i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
