You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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