Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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