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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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