scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
