are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
