Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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