so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
