Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
