Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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