There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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