i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
