I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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