I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
