I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
