Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You're like the curious george of whores
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
