I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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