i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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