A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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