what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
