he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
