no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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