how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
