So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
