I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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