what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
