so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
