is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
