I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
